You give love a bad name.

WARNING: If you have not seen the movie Love and Other Drugs (and you plan to), this blog entry may contain plot spoilers. You're welcome.

I have a strong sense of reality. I don't believe in ghosts, and I am nearly certain there isn't a being above that determines our every day. For a long time, I refused to read such things as Twilight and Harry Potter, claiming that my brain just didn't work that way; I couldn't remove myself from the real world long enough to conceive of an entirely fictional world consisting of magic, vampires, or Dark Lords. When I saw the movie Enchanted, I felt physical pain and embarrassment for the characters played by Amy Adams and James Marsden. Somehow, I couldn't put myself in this fairytale land that magically invaded New York City.

I'm not really sure what all this says about me as a person, but what I do know is this - fantasy lands tend to irritate me.



Currently, I happen to be going in and out of one of my "woe is me" moments, and I can't help but feeling somewhat lonely and sorry for myself and my situation. This started a little while before Thanksgiving. Truly, I don't begrudge any of my friends their happiness, but I'm finding myself wishing I could share in it. Join in group outings without feeling like a fifth wheel. Have a regular companion... blah blah... wah wah...

Maybe I shouldn't have gone to see a typical Hollywood romantic comedy (or "emotional comedy," as they are calling this movie) in this mood. But, honestly, I can't pass up a good Jake Gyllenhaal opportunity (unless of course it's Prince of Persia, and he has a dumb accent). His appearance in this particular movie is truly the subject of it's own blog entry. See the movie, and you'll understand.



For the most part, I really appreciated the relationship on screen this time. It isn't perfect. There are flaws in the relationship as well as the people involved. The conversations seem honest and real - as if I were actually watching two people intent on avoiding anything serious. Both people have baggage, histories of loving and losing or not really loving at all. For the first two-thirds of the movie, I was thinking, "I really like this movie... Must buy it on DVD."

But before I could map out immediate plans to see the movie a second time, Hollywood stepped in, and the traditional, predictable elements of chick flicks ruined a perfectly good movie-going experience (but let's also blame the slightly blurred picture, damn Rave Motion Pictures).

It's possible I don't believe in the classic Happy Ending because I have yet to find that Prince Charming, but I do believe in the ever present threat of REAL life. People like Jake's character just don't exist. They don't. I'm sorry. Guys that look like him and are successful like him don't drive miles just to catch the girl with the issues and promise to take care of her, save her, LOVE her. Yes, I'm being cynical, and I am far from the optimist with rose-colored glasses. I'm just trying to explain how things actually go.

Guys like that don't exist. And, if they do, as I said last night, they're dating Taylor Swift... This is the very PG version of what I actually said upon leaving the movie last night.

Perhaps I should take to watching more movies like The Wrestler - down on his luck guy tries and remains, well, down on his luck. I'm really bothered by this ideal life of perfection when the White Knight saves the girl or where two imperfect people can make love triumph over all.

Plain and simple... It just doesn't happen.

"You promise me heaven then put me through hell."

I don't know how you keep on giving.

Today is an American day of giving thanks (it is also celebrated in Canada... though the holiday is slightly different). Together, we celebrate being thankful for a "plentiful harvest," as Wikipedia tells me. Traditionally, people also make a habit of listing those things in their lives for which they are grateful.

When I woke up today... actually last night... I started thinking about writing an entirely different blog. The subject matter was one that focused on a topic of loneliness and envy. Due to the holiday, I will spare you, and bring you an entry sponsored by happiness and positive thoughts.

I give you my list of things and people that make me happy every day. In case I don't say it enough, this little note will serve as my eternal Thank You.

My Friends
To the special few of you that make every day funnier and sunnier. A few times now, I have blogged about the importance of having good friends in your life. I consider myself extremely lucky to know that I have more than just a couple close friends. While I communicate with some on a daily basis and others not quite as frequently, they have all been there for me to share lots of laughs and (unfortunately) some tears as well. Ari, Nicole, Jayme, Jill, Laurie, Eric, & Dory. I count you among the people in my world that know just what to say when I need to laugh - whether you know it or not (Jill) - and can be there to laugh at me when I say something completely ridiculous (Dory). For Ari and Nicole who can understand the words I mean when I'm fairly certain I haven't even spoken proper English. To Laurie who is a source of inspirational words and thoughts when I don't know where else to look. And for amazing friends that can be found in the most unexpected places (Jayme & Eric).

My Family
Mom and Dad who have been nice enough to let me camp out in the house all this time and have supported my smart decisions and even some of my not so smart ones. :-) To Jared and Michelle out west - far in miles but not in my heart.

I could go on and list all of the music I couldn't live without and the extended family I have gained in also gaining a sister-in-law. I'm thankful that the teddy bear a friend gave me when I turned 12 is still in one piece and has traveled with me through every move. I'm thankful that I don't fall over the mess in my room when I have to get up in the middle of the night.

There's also the really little things like... umm... candy corn, rainbow cookies, apple pie, and Harry Potter. Also Graceland, because I know I'll get there one day. Disney memories, musical theater, and "Gilmore Girls."

And I couldn't forget you, the very special people (no matter who few you may be) that read my silly little stories and help me with feedback, leading me to believe that maybe just one day - hopefully before I'm 30 - I will find my book on the shelves. Then I'll be even more thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

"I want to thank you for so many gifts you gave with all the tenderness."

See the man with the lonely eyes, take his hand you'll be surprised.

Random acts of kindness.

When I was in high school, there was an after school club devoted to being kind, randomly, in the form of different acts. I'm pretty sure the club didn't last very long. To me, it seems kind of silly to create a group for the purpose of doing something people should be doing in their daily lives. Do you need others to tell you how to be nice to people? Do you have to be part of a collective in order to spontaneously pay attention to passers-by?

Unfortunately, most people are not genuinely just - well - kind to others. It takes effort for some to smile and say a simple thank you. Trust me, I know. I work in the food business. Although we all tend to express when a customer is a pain in the ass and horribly rude, it's almost more shocking when someone is nice, expresses appreciation, or leaves a generous tip. This morning, one of my servers (and friends) said to me that everyone was being so great. Customers were actually pleasant. Isn't it a shame to think that we're not expecting it?

For the last week, I have been unsuccessfully searching for a box of Nerds. You'd think with Halloween candy out that I'd be able to find one of those boxes - with the split openings - of grape and strawberry crunchy delights. No luck. Target. Shop Rite. Wegmans. NOTHING! Do you know how happy it made me when someone brought me two tiny boxes of Wonka Nerds yesterday? Simply put, it made my day, and it made me smile. It doesn't take a lot of money or a lot of power. It just takes a little bit of thought and a whole lot of heart. Who knew little candies could make someone's day...

One of my good friends sort of possesses the spirit of being kind to people. She goes out of her way to make someone feel happy or beautiful. It could be a little note she gives the Dunkin Donuts cashier or a one line text message she sends to a friend. She works so hard at making others happy, absolutely convinced that a smile on someone else's face can put one on her own. She's determined to make her first million for someone else, someone that needs it more than she does. It's people like her that send you a book in the mail for no reason or show up to visit you at work when you've had a long day.

Why is it so rare and difficult to find the ones that know making other people happy can make you just as happy in return? As we get into the holiday season, I'm taking this moment to say that I'm thankful for the people in my life - whether it's been for days, years, or even minutes - that have brightened my day and given me inspiration to pay it forward to others.

"So send a smile; we're on our way back home."