In one weekend, I have mourned the loss of a life and celebrated the birth of a new one.
It's a strange thing to do. Somehow, you feel that the happiness is overshadowed by the sadness, and yet, at the same time, the despair of a life taken seems sort of forgotten in the joy.
At the heart of it all is the idea of unconditional love, how it suddenly exists the moment a new life is welcomed. And also how that love can be sadly overlooked, unknown, or missed. Our hearts are strange, complex things. We, as people, can be capable of so much compassion, empathy, admiration, adoration... the list goes on. But the heart is extremely fragile, breakable the second it is touched by hurt.
I didn't have to know him well to be saddened by the words spoken last night. It had even been years since I saw his sister, my connection to him. It hurts to watch anyone go through such an unfortunate experience. He was a friend, a brother, a son. And over and over again, there seemed to be a repeated wish for the one they lost: that he knew how much he was loved, respected, and supported. The love was nothing short of strong, present, and unconditional - regardless of the last time one spoke to him or saw him. As everyone spoke of him, it seemed that he was so capable of everything he put his mind to, and he was certainly not short on the ability to love those around him. It was with that love that he assumed his burden was for no one else to shoulder.
But in the midst of the pain, there is hope and belief that a new life will undoubtedly recognize the love those around him possess. At just a few days old, he probably has more stuff than a five year-old got for Christmas. I watched the family welcome him with no judgement, no hesitation that this is a perfect person. He will never have to want for affection or guidance, support or respect. Simply by him being, a heart realizes its full capability to love at its strongest.
Though somehow it feels strange to focus on a death and a birth at the same time, it is with the same strength of sorrow that all those involved feel the complete devotion to a new being.
I know it's silly, but there isn't another song out there that expresses the sentiment...
"To find our way on a path unwinding."
