No offense to my lovely male friends and family members, but I honestly think that - sometimes - being a man means that you are genetically inferior. Something about your make up means you are simply incapable of thinking and acting properly in many every day situations.
Most people know you won't ask for directions. It's also probably highly likely that you'll ignore the GPS, if you have one. You wait until the last minute to buy gifts, if you remember to get them at all. There's also a good chance that you'll forget to convey important details about various topics.
For the moment, I'm going to hate on you. I'm sorry, but for now it just needs to happen.
I wonder if I have the words "HURT ME" stamped across my forehead. Do I look like the girl that wants to be messed with? Is there something in my nature that conveys some unwritten rule about how you should treat me? Look, I know I'm not the only girl to ever be hurt, but I'm tired of it, and I'm ready to stand up for myself.
I'm standing up for myself by simply saying, "Fuck you." It's like that L'Oreal slogan - "Because you're worth it." I don't deserve to be treated like crap... or lied to... or forgotten... or any other shitty thing.
There are things you tell a person you're dating. One of the very first things should probably be, "I don't want/can't handle/am not looking for a relationship." Something about texting a girl every single day, asking her out, paying for dinner, holding her hand... blah blah... kind of says the complete opposite. Because sometimes, it's what you do that speaks a lot louder than any words you could ever utter.
For a long time, I thought that I knew myself very well. I knew where I placed my values and opinions. However, when it came to knowing my own self-worth, I danced around a place called Low Self-Esteem. I was more outwardly confident than I ever felt on the inside. I don't know if I really believed that I deserved to have the things that I wanted. I was pretending. I was also far too scared to even hold onto something if I had it. There was always part of me that tried to push things away if I was frightened; I still do it a little bit.
But I'm passed thinking I shouldn't have or can't have someone that can be truthful, caring, and open. Like my best friend says, no one is perfect, and everyone has issues or problems. They just need to work with my issues. I'm sorry if I'm not screwed up enough for you, but maybe all of this could have been avoided if you had just said you weren't ready. Or perhaps if you didn't contact me at all the first day, or the day after that, or every day for the two weeks following. You shouldn't have visited me at work.
You shouldn't have introduced me to your mom.
I'm not without flaws, for sure. I'm also not unbreakable, but I am strong. Stronger than I ever thought I was. And, you know what, when I looked at myself today, for the first time I truly felt like saying, "His loss."
I hope you get your shit together, and I hope that it all works out for you. I'm not evil, and I'm only sometimes a bitch, so I don't harbor any ill will for you, but I do think you were wrong. You were wrong for ever pretending like things were as good as you could make them seem.
I know that you can't fix your inferiority problem. I mean, you were bred that way. But wise up.
I'm so ready to find someone that doesn't use me to acknowledge his issues. I am not that girl.
"So don't bring me those big brown eyes and tell me that you're sorry."
