Keep it positive... As you slap her to the floor!

I wonder if the key to life is positivity. I mean, there are loads of self-help people out there that make big bucks from teaching people how to focus their thoughts on positive energy. It can't ALL be crap.

Sometimes I get jealous of people that are able to channel their energy into optimism as opposed to thinking about half-empty glasses.



It is no secret that I was given the genes of a cynic. To prove it, I once started saying that the glass was half full or half empty depending on whether or not you were drinking or pouring. I looked at the situation a little too closely. I don't know when it all started, but I know we don't come into this world preaching negativity. At some point, I obviously lost the ability to look through rose-colored lenses.

What's sort of odd is that I'm a pessimist selectively (sort of like how I have what my high school friends called selective blushing - there is a line on the left side of my face that stays white when I blush). When it comes to believing in my friends or hoping for their success, I never seem to lack words of encouragement or actions of assistance. A couple weeks ago, I was trying to connect a friend with a job, and she told me that I put positive out into the universe. What shocked me was that in comparison to this particular friend, my usual positivity rating is about a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. This particular friend is easily a 9 (often a 10).

Don't confuse any of this with a lack of belief in certain abilities I gratefully possess. I've honed the skill of the written word, and I tend to think I'm capable of a handful of things. Yet, I've managed to confuse being awfully down in the dumps with the idea of reality. While trying to be realistic and honest with myself, I have somehow turned into a person that completely casts aside the art of the possible. I have viewed my own future as impossible and everything short of a fairy tale.

It's really sad to know that you can be (and are) your own worst enemy. I have created roadblocks for myself and shot down chances of opportunity purely because I saw the potential BAD without ever acknowledging a speck of GOOD.

Growing past being a cynic is tough. I can tell myself every which way, until the end of time, that I am the only thing standing in my way. But change doesn't come easily, especially when we've spent so many years becoming ourselves.

"Wipe your tears; it's not big thing."