If you've read any of my entries up to this point, you probably understand the value I put on friendship (see my last entry). Without meaning to, I also seem to focus a lot of attention on the process of growing up... sort of like Meredith Grey, back in the really good, first days of "Grey's Anatomy." It should come as no surprise to any person, my age or older, that both friendship and growing up are very closely linked. At least they are for me.
Often, our friends help to punctuate moments as years pass. We share a number of coming-of-age rites of passage with the people were learn to love and trust in platonic relationships. Prom, graduation, spring break (yeah, not me... but I'm sure for many of you this applies). It's rare that our photo memories don't feature others. I don't know about you, but I don't display self-portaits from proud moments and fun experiences. In those images, I'm always surrounded by friends. Just in front of me, I have a few tacked to my bulletin board: meeting the Jonas Brothers, silly impromptu group photo shoots, old fashioned photos at the beach. I think of each event and smile.
But so many of us change as we get older. It's necessary, right? Even though some of us hold onto valuable core beliefs, it's usually the life experiences that shape us, creating a reformed and informed identity. I hope that most people don't wish to remain that very same person that wrote a sixth grade research paper... mine was on the civil rights movement.
Yet, if we know all of this, how come it's still so sad when we somehow manage to outgrow friends from our past?
Truly, I don't believe it's something to classify as good or bad. It's normal, if you want to call it anything. Thinking about my own set of friends, those that I consider the people I'm closest to in my life, I probably have three good friends from college, two from high school, maybe one from middle school, and bordering one remaining from elementary school. Sure, I still keep in touch with more people than that, especially because we all know how to keep tabs on each other thanks to social networking. Along the way, as we grew into ourselves, we also grew away from each other. Miles can no longer be an excuse when cell phones and Facebook are rarely less than inches away. What I've noticed is that quite a few of my best friends have entered my life post the pivotal "GROWING UP" stages. Though the memories remain, the ties with the old crews start to sever, and we surround ourselves with the people that share in many of the things we've become.
As time goes on, our lives get busier. Our schedules become so packed that we fill the open space with those that have grown along similar paths. Just the same, the ones we used to walk alongside have joined forces with others. We may still pick up the phone occasionally or send an e-mail on a holiday, but we can't always hold ourselves responsible for moving on. Often, it's just an undeniable fact of life. Change is okay. And even if we wanted to, there's nothing we can do to get it to stop.
"But everybody's changing, and I don't feel the same."
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