Can music save your mortal soul?

Last night, I couldn't sleep. Maybe it was because of my insane excitement for tonight's episode of "Glee." It's more likely the unrest was caused by the fact that I drank iced tea at 8:30pm. Either way, I found myself writing a blog in my head all while tossing and turning.

Because tonight's new episode of "Glee" features the much anticipated Britney Spears centered storyline, I started wondering about the entertainers that my generation will be left with. On a couple of occasions, I have discussed - with those older than me - the music, movies, and pop culture figures that my unfortunate generation lacks. We have no Clark Gable, no Frank Sinatra, and no Billie Holiday. Our versions can't even be considered poor substitutes.



If you've grown up like I have, you're lucky to have the opportunity to be exposed to some of the greats the entertainment world has ever offered. I remember many car rides listening to Sinatra, Bennett, or Torme. When I turned 12, we went to see Liza Minnelli at Radio City Music Hall, and I have her autograph hanging on my wall. And, although I never saw him perform live, I did watch Sinatra exit the stage door of Radio City. I can picture it exactly, including the brown, bomber jacket he wore. My dad saw him 31 times.

To this day, I also find myself singing along to oldies that I don't remember ever learning the words to. The Four Seasons, Beach Boys, Barry Manilow... I know all of them. When I got the chance to meet Frankie Valli, I couldn't contain my excitement.



So, what will I be playing for my kids one day? I have no doubt that my playlist will include some of my parents' favorites, but what about the current music that I am sometimes embarrassed to have on my iPod? Since the time that I started buying my own music and movies, I have spent a lot of money on both, filling books with CDs and shelves (or boxes) with DVDs. But no matter how much I love Gwen Stefani and No Doubt or Jennifer Lopez and Johnny Depp, it just isn't the same.

Today, we have celebrities that are created from nothing. Groups like Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls were formed by answering ads for auditions. People like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian became famous for... hmm... Yeah, still thinking. Even though the early 1900s were full of movie studios sometimes now referred to as star factories, it was different. They found unknowns, gave them a look, and signed them to a picture deal. Press agents worked tirelessly to keep the bad news out of the movie magazines housewives read while their husbands were at work. Today, publicists thrive on the scandal and celebrities almost always rise, like a phoenix from the ashes, to revive seemingly ruined careers.



As a generation, we've seen entertainment world tragedies like the loss of Aaliyah and Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. While both deaths were sad and all too soon, it's hard to compare the loss to that of John Lennon or Elvis Presley - musical legends the world still mourns to some degree. And while we've lost Michael Jackson in our time, it seems like we can't really claim him for our own. Though still working on music, the height of his career - as we know it - had unfortunately passed.

So what do we leave for the next generation? Chris Brown and Rihanna's infamous fight? Miley Cyrus's barebacked Vanity Fair shoot? Mel Gibson's multiple rants? Madonna's girl-on-girl-on-girl MTV liplock? Lindsay Lohan's jail stints? Britney Spears shaving her head/attacking a car with an umbrella/getting taken away in an ambulance?

The George Clooneys and Matt Damons are few and far between, and it's a shame. We are in a completely different time, and the need for fame and celebrity is scary, especially when it comes with few consequences. I'd take another Paul McCartney or Harrison Ford any day.

"But something touched me deep inside, the day the music died."

I can see a swath of sinners settin' yonder, and they're actin' like a pack of fools.

When I was a lot younger, I remember getting in trouble for speaking out of turn and saying something entirely wrong at the moment. Now, what I said, I have absolutely no idea, but I still remember the lesson I took away from that event. It's a lesson that I'm fairly sure Elisabeth Hassleback and Kanye West never learned. What is this all important rule?

Think before you speak.



While you need to put thought into the words before they exit your mouth, another crucial point is considering how you say the words. Tone, speed, volume. Everything can completely alter the meaning and goal of what you are saying. Maybe my summers of theater camp and years of theater classes helped me here, but I absolutely believe that creating the thought and executing it in the proper way can aid your success.

While working in the entertainment industry, I learned a couple of key things. 1) People will yell at you for no reason. 2) If you go about it the right way, your way of asking for something may just get you what you want.

I will never really understand what gives people the right to think they can raise their voices, berate you, and maybe even make you cry... crushing your spirit into oblivion. Who told that crew guy it was okay to yell and me and complain to my boss because he didn't like my one hour of not dispensing petty cash? When did that producer learn that he could throw things off his desk while screaming at an assistant, only to hire him back an hour later? Who allowed you people to believe this is a normal existence?

On the same point, where on earth would an employee get the right to raise his or her voice to a boss? I can't imagine any person would think this is acceptable.

In moments of frustration, we all seem to inflate a bit - blood pressure hitting the roof, just waiting for the body to explode. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a person that remains completely calm in a tense situation. I myself am guilty of a road rage blackout in which my friend told me I uttered every curse word possible. I remembered none of it. It is moments like this one that push me to reevaluate the situation. It's best to step away, take a breath, and think about just what you need to say and exactly how you should say it.



In California, I was presented with a number of great potential opportunities. When I learned that a jovial nature and a relaxed attitude with a strong interest was the way to success, I was able to attend some really cool events and meet some great people. Nearly every celebrity photo op or red carpet position I was granted came to me purely because I figured out how to properly approach the gatekeeper and phrase the request.

I'm a little stubborn, I admit. And, like most, I don't like being wrong or questioned, but it happens. I promise you, I will be much more receptive to the demand if you can figure out how to calm down and how to speak to me on a common level. I may be shorter than you, younger than you, or of a different gender, but it by no means says that I am not your equal or even, possibly, your superior.

Please, I beg of you, think before you speak and learn how to tailor your sentences to your audience. Not everyone is forgiving or forgetting.

"If you're smart, you'll learn your lessons well."
(I am a huge Godspell fan, and this was one decent performance I could find.)

The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.

I have a lot of pet peeves. If you know me well, you can recognize that I have irrational hatred for silly things like when a person's jeans get stuck in the back of his shoes. I also possess a very strong dislike for Gisele Bundchen and Monica Keena. Neither of these people change my life on a daily basis, but I'm bothered by them.

However, one thing I hate more than any of the aforementioned items is when someone assumes that I'm stupid. It's frustrating to me when someone feels the need to point out the obvious or express commonly held knowledge. The worst is when a person starts to tell me something and prefaces the statement with, "You don't understand."

Please, please don't tell me what I already know.



Remember not too long ago when I blogged about men and the Swingers syndrome? Guys that can't pick up a phone to call without checking the days off on their calendars... Well, said guy - let's call him (ummmm....) Stan - did actually call. My phone rang, when I wasn't expecting it to, four days after we met. At that point I had pretty much figured he wasn't going to do anything about it, so I was a bit surprised. Stan and I had a nice conversation that lasted nearly an hour. We covered a range of topics and even discussed some things our matchmaker didn't know about him. I would be lying if I said I was completely taken by the chat, but I was interested in hanging out and getting to know him. Stan explained that the following week was his first full week back at work (he's a teacher), and that he would be busy that weekend with his younger brother's 21st birthday. While he thought his weekend might not be completely booked, we made plans for the following Tuesday instead. No specifics were set, but he did say we would talk later in the week.

Somehow, during the course of his oh-so-busy week and partying for the 21st birthday, I'm guessing Stan decided he wasn't really interested. Maybe he decided that on the phone and making plans was his way out of a conversation. Who knows? Needless to say, I didn't hear from him later that week, that weekend, Monday night, or Tuesday - the day of our supposed plans.

Readers, I am not dumb.

It's more than obvious that he made the decision that he was not going to take me out.

Really, Stan, it's okay... I let it go and figured he was an idiot. An idiot that also has to see our matchmaker (and my best friend) every day at work.

The impetus for this post came about an hour ago. Via text message (just a note, when you need to convey something with any value, using a text message is the most cowardly option).

Stan: Hey. I don't think I'm interested in dating right now. I'm sorry. Hope you are well.

Wow... A couple weeks after we spoke, and I'm supposed to be thinking you're still going to call me with grand plans for a date? Sorry.

I want to be clear - this is not about being bitter. This is about being angry that a guy would assume a girl is so dumb and desperate as to be hoping and waiting for him to take her out for a date. Please, don't insult my intelligence and figure that I haven't already answered those questions about you on my own. Also, it helps if you don't tell your matchmaker that you are absolutely serious about dating when you're absolutely not.

Often, things are better left unsaid. At this point, Stan, you really could have just left it alone instead of making a poor attempt to save face. You were already crossed off in my book.

"That boy there, well, he's playing a fool."

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me.

I am the kind of person that has always imagined the road ahead of me. I've planned years in advance, often anticipating the worst and preparing for it as well. I had college brochures and applications arriving in my mailbox far before the time I'd need to submit them. I painted pretty pictures for my future, imagining the house in Beverly Hills with the tennis courts I'd never use and then later the second home in Beacon Hill in Boston. There was also the summer night when my best friend and I created the stories of our eventual happy endings, complete with fairy tale weddings to great guys and the kids that would follow.

Do you know how hard it is to find out that nothing can go exactly as you planned? Imagined?

When I was looking into colleges, I considered myself really lucky; I knew exactly what I wanted to do and the person I wanted to be. I knew so many people that had absolutely no clue what they would major in or what career path they would choose. The path was simple. Undergrad with a major in Public Relations, preferably at a school in a warm climate (University of Miami - CHECK). Move out to Los Angeles with an entry level job in PR. Ultimately become that sought after celebrity publicist responsible for planning big premieres and negotiating positive career moves. Own that huge house in Beverly Hills, etc... The list goes on.



Well, no one anticipated a transfer of schools after one year in college. I hadn't planned for that. I also hadn't figured ahead of time that I would absolutely hate working in entertainment PR like a couple of college professors and advisors cautioned I would. That part only took about two weeks. Two weeks for my imaginary perfect life to completely change course.

What now? I had a job, and I was perfectly content for a while. Occasionally, I would toy with the idea of doing something else. Business school in Boston? Hmm... Didn't want to take any tests to get in, and I didn't want to pay the course fees. A job with Disney World Hotels in Orlando? Hmmm... Didn't want to move to Florida.

I often spent time looking at education courses, trying to find my way into being a teacher when I had a degree and life experience in something completely different. Truth be told, I have absolutely ZERO desire to once again be a student myself, and yet I still think about why I never considered being a teacher. I was lucky enough to have some amazing teachers throughout school. A few that I still hold responsible for my ability and passion to write continue to inspire me. I think about how much I love little kids and how I'd want to be the person to spend a full day with them. I'd also love to teach the writing fundamentals that I learned and still hold as so incredibly important. Sometimes, I'll see teachers grading papers over coffee at the deli, and I find myself jealous that I have no essays on Gatsby or paragraphs on summer vacation to read.



And so, here I am. Somewhere down the line in my life, and yet very much at the beginning at the age of 26. Today, while watching Oprah (which I almost never watch), I felt as though I was close to tears. Her special was on education and the incredible teachers that continue to make a difference in the lives of kids all over the world. It was almost as if something was missing for me. There was a sense of regret in not being one of those teachers because I know it would 100% be where I belonged. But I made never made that decision.

Not too long ago, a teacher friend of mine said she wished there were easier ways for non teachers to make the career change. She told me that kids have such a respect for people that have done something else and can bring a different perspective to the classroom.

So what kind of perspective do I offer as a former ET/Insider employee and a manager of a Jewish deli???

"I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world."

You can call me, call me anytime.

All men (and boys) reading this blog, raise your hands. I'm gonna imagine there's, like, three of you. Keep your hand raised if you've seen the movie Swingers. For our sake, let's say you have. Now I ask,

What the hell is wrong with you?

I wonder, when someone talked to you about dating, did they hand you a rulebook? Were there guidelines regarding time and place? Right and wrong? Desperation verses interest? Shed a light for me, please. I'll be happy to listen.

When I first saw the movie Swingers, it was a while ago. I had yet to experience "real" dating, and I always sort of wondered if guys in that world really followed unwritten rules about when to call their "beautiful babies." When I moved away from New Jersey and finally encountered guys in LA, I realized that it is in fact a horrible truth that guys have a whole set of dumbass regulations they hold near and dear to their hearts. One of my male roommates even had a framed poster of the men of Swingers hanging in the apartment. The poster also contained some sort of quote on calling or not calling the ladies.

I'm sure there are plenty of girls that may decide to up and run if the guys that just recently obtained their numbers called within hours or even a day. But let's think about this, guys, there is a very good chance that the one you want to call is in fact (not so happily) waiting for her phone to ring. Assuming the number she gave you is real and will ring through on her end, there is a reason she bestowed those digits upon you: SHE WANTS YOU TO CALL. Why is it so hard to pick up the phone? And if you're really that scared, it's even easier to cowardly text a simple message.

While I'm told guys are just as frightened of rejection as girls, I find it hard to believe sometimes. For the many that stick true to traditional dating roles and recognize the man's responsibility to phone first, it seems that there is some sort of level of control that these guys enjoy holding onto. Is it possible that the second they pick up the phone they relinquish the ability to determine the direction of said potential relationship? Hmm...

Because I have learned my lesson in the past, I am one of those that believes there are some things that can and (maybe) should be a guy's task. Unfortunately for me - and the many like me - this means I wait. How long though? Just as Vince Vaughn and his buddies set a six-day span of time before dialing, should this mean that maybe I stamp an expired date on the guy? Trying not to.

Don't want to.

"Cover me in kisses, baby. Cover me in love."

Close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there...

Do you consider yourself a good friend?

I'm sure most of you would answer yes and hope that your friends would say the same about you. Knowing all relationships in life take work in order to maintain proper and healthy function, what I'm curious about is exactly how difficult it can be to earn the title of "good friend."

I'm sure you've heard the quote regarding footprints being left on the heart. Some come into our lives and leave without making a mark, while others can be there forever whether in physical presence or spirit, simply by creating an indelible memory - positive or negative. At the age of 26, when making new and lasting friendships can unfortunately be difficult, I have started to categorize these so-called footprints and tried my best to keep those people in my life that have been a helpful hand, a kind word, or a cherished friend.

Women's magazines often write articles regarding cleaning out the bad from our lives. These topics tend to come up around the fall, when a new school year starts, and spring, when purging the clutter isn't just about the junk sitting in the bottom of the closet or under the bed. From listening to a lot of my close friends and trying to do this myself, I have learned that one of the most difficult things you can do, as a person and a friend, is learn when to cut ties and put an end to the relationships that have been supposedly toxic or just plain negative. What is the point of hanging onto a person simply due to obligation or ease? When you find you're stressed, complaining, or just worried, it's time for it to end.

If we count our friends by the number of people we supposedly associate with for the terms of online Facebook networking, we're all huge social butterflies and probably can't even keep everyone's names straight. But when you think about how many of those people truly know you and that you honestly know, how many people are there? I can easily say that I have less than 10 of these people in my life (family members not included). Yes, I accept that we all are imperfect but that we know each other's flaws and issues and just how to handle them. With these people, I am never afraid to be myself - silly obsessions, oddball quirks, and nagging pet peeves. I know that at the end of the day, whether it's been a good one or a bad one, one of them is always willing to listen through text, IM, e-mail, or phone.

After emerging from the college experience with only three new close friends in addition to those pals from high school that still show up as favorites on my cell phone call log, I experienced the cross-country move (as you all well know) and tried to find a rung on the ladder of LA social climbers. Without the comforts of high school hallways or college dorm living, it becomes increasingly more difficult to identify true people in our lives, especially in a place like Los Angeles. Can we still use the same things to evaluate what it means to be a good friend? Or do we have to accept that everyone is just looking for a place in this world and might not have the time to care about you or forming a bond?

Over the years, I have managed to somehow decide with whom I want to and need to associate. I have dealt with negativity and pesky qualities that stressed me out more than necessary. I have ended friendships with people while young and accepted that we have been able to grow up and once again be in touch, and I have also realized that some of these people are just not for me. Maybe they can't accept me for who I am, and - while being completely honest - maybe I can't accept them for who they are. We all need outlets sometimes, and that may even mean we stress about our very best friends. But, at the end of the day, if the stressors outweigh the good stuff, it's just not important enough to be worried all the time. Think about the people that matter to you and the people to whom you matter.

"You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am I'll come running."