You can call me, call me anytime.

All men (and boys) reading this blog, raise your hands. I'm gonna imagine there's, like, three of you. Keep your hand raised if you've seen the movie Swingers. For our sake, let's say you have. Now I ask,

What the hell is wrong with you?

I wonder, when someone talked to you about dating, did they hand you a rulebook? Were there guidelines regarding time and place? Right and wrong? Desperation verses interest? Shed a light for me, please. I'll be happy to listen.

When I first saw the movie Swingers, it was a while ago. I had yet to experience "real" dating, and I always sort of wondered if guys in that world really followed unwritten rules about when to call their "beautiful babies." When I moved away from New Jersey and finally encountered guys in LA, I realized that it is in fact a horrible truth that guys have a whole set of dumbass regulations they hold near and dear to their hearts. One of my male roommates even had a framed poster of the men of Swingers hanging in the apartment. The poster also contained some sort of quote on calling or not calling the ladies.

I'm sure there are plenty of girls that may decide to up and run if the guys that just recently obtained their numbers called within hours or even a day. But let's think about this, guys, there is a very good chance that the one you want to call is in fact (not so happily) waiting for her phone to ring. Assuming the number she gave you is real and will ring through on her end, there is a reason she bestowed those digits upon you: SHE WANTS YOU TO CALL. Why is it so hard to pick up the phone? And if you're really that scared, it's even easier to cowardly text a simple message.

While I'm told guys are just as frightened of rejection as girls, I find it hard to believe sometimes. For the many that stick true to traditional dating roles and recognize the man's responsibility to phone first, it seems that there is some sort of level of control that these guys enjoy holding onto. Is it possible that the second they pick up the phone they relinquish the ability to determine the direction of said potential relationship? Hmm...

Because I have learned my lesson in the past, I am one of those that believes there are some things that can and (maybe) should be a guy's task. Unfortunately for me - and the many like me - this means I wait. How long though? Just as Vince Vaughn and his buddies set a six-day span of time before dialing, should this mean that maybe I stamp an expired date on the guy? Trying not to.

Don't want to.

"Cover me in kisses, baby. Cover me in love."