I don't know what I want, so don't ask me.

I am the kind of person that has always imagined the road ahead of me. I've planned years in advance, often anticipating the worst and preparing for it as well. I had college brochures and applications arriving in my mailbox far before the time I'd need to submit them. I painted pretty pictures for my future, imagining the house in Beverly Hills with the tennis courts I'd never use and then later the second home in Beacon Hill in Boston. There was also the summer night when my best friend and I created the stories of our eventual happy endings, complete with fairy tale weddings to great guys and the kids that would follow.

Do you know how hard it is to find out that nothing can go exactly as you planned? Imagined?

When I was looking into colleges, I considered myself really lucky; I knew exactly what I wanted to do and the person I wanted to be. I knew so many people that had absolutely no clue what they would major in or what career path they would choose. The path was simple. Undergrad with a major in Public Relations, preferably at a school in a warm climate (University of Miami - CHECK). Move out to Los Angeles with an entry level job in PR. Ultimately become that sought after celebrity publicist responsible for planning big premieres and negotiating positive career moves. Own that huge house in Beverly Hills, etc... The list goes on.



Well, no one anticipated a transfer of schools after one year in college. I hadn't planned for that. I also hadn't figured ahead of time that I would absolutely hate working in entertainment PR like a couple of college professors and advisors cautioned I would. That part only took about two weeks. Two weeks for my imaginary perfect life to completely change course.

What now? I had a job, and I was perfectly content for a while. Occasionally, I would toy with the idea of doing something else. Business school in Boston? Hmm... Didn't want to take any tests to get in, and I didn't want to pay the course fees. A job with Disney World Hotels in Orlando? Hmmm... Didn't want to move to Florida.

I often spent time looking at education courses, trying to find my way into being a teacher when I had a degree and life experience in something completely different. Truth be told, I have absolutely ZERO desire to once again be a student myself, and yet I still think about why I never considered being a teacher. I was lucky enough to have some amazing teachers throughout school. A few that I still hold responsible for my ability and passion to write continue to inspire me. I think about how much I love little kids and how I'd want to be the person to spend a full day with them. I'd also love to teach the writing fundamentals that I learned and still hold as so incredibly important. Sometimes, I'll see teachers grading papers over coffee at the deli, and I find myself jealous that I have no essays on Gatsby or paragraphs on summer vacation to read.



And so, here I am. Somewhere down the line in my life, and yet very much at the beginning at the age of 26. Today, while watching Oprah (which I almost never watch), I felt as though I was close to tears. Her special was on education and the incredible teachers that continue to make a difference in the lives of kids all over the world. It was almost as if something was missing for me. There was a sense of regret in not being one of those teachers because I know it would 100% be where I belonged. But I made never made that decision.

Not too long ago, a teacher friend of mine said she wished there were easier ways for non teachers to make the career change. She told me that kids have such a respect for people that have done something else and can bring a different perspective to the classroom.

So what kind of perspective do I offer as a former ET/Insider employee and a manager of a Jewish deli???

"I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world."