There's one moment from this movie that always sticks out for me. No, it's not when foreign exchange student Long Duck Dong gets misplaced. It's also not when The Geek charges fellow freshmen for a peek at Sam's underwear. There's a discussion Samantha shares with her dad. In his older, parental wisdom, Mr. Baker tells Sam, "That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else."
Now, if you've seen this movie (a million times, like I have), you know how it ends. In some dramatic twist of John Hughes fate, the high school romance is realized, and our over-the-top Molly Ringwald heroine gets the guy. Hmm... How many of your crushes have gone this way? None? Join the club.
Last week, I saw recent photos of an old high school crush. Once upon time - in 1998/1999 - I was a high school freshman, and this guy was a senior. I remember seeing him every day, before sixth period, in third floor C-wing. Back then, he had very red hair, was average height, and occasionally wore glasses. I have a weakness for the glasses. He was also a customer in my parents' then restaurant. I was a complete nerd over him, and yet I never even spoke to him. Not one word. My best friend knew him, and used to tell me what a huge jerk he was. Eh, when it's a crush you'll never get, you don't have to worry about these things. So when I saw these new photos of him (thanks for Facebook stalking), I was surprised to find he grew possibly a foot in height, and his once very red hair had browned and grown out. He was still wearing the glasses. I said to my best friend, "Old habits die hard. Yeah, he's still hot." Oh, and married.
This one particular crush got me thinking about how I could punctuate times in my life, and I realized it wasn't by hair style or clothing trend. I can easily pin point different moments - both during school and after - by the object of my affection at the time. Awful.
There were a couple of important ones back in elementary school. You know, the type of crush that took away the cooties and replaced them with blue eyes and blonde hair. Clearly, Zach Morris was a big icon for me then. This particular guy may or may not now be a Facebook friend (haha), but I don't think I've seen him since sixth grade, and yet I still laugh when I go through old photos and find the shots that I'm sure I must've have stared at with no end.
Middle school is sort of a blur... There was the close friend that never remembered he was supposed to take me to the 8th grade dance... and the other guy that brought me purple roses when he ended up being my date.
Flash forward to high school. Small fish in big, gigantic pond. Suddenly, there were many, many guys I had never seen before. One, two, and three years older than me. Before I found the aforementioned redhead, there was a major crush that pretty much all of my friends should remember. That year, Freshman Dance was in February. I asked him in September. I think about it now and am completely embarrassed by my actions. I also have to wonder whether or not he was truly my friend or just a guy that couldn't help but be intrigued by the affections of a silly freshman. From what I remember, he was used to it. There were movie outings, rides home, and after school theater rehearsals. It was a long time ago, but I can remember every bit of it. And when I met up with him years later while on a trip with a friend of mine, I couldn't help but feel like that 14 year-old all over again, split in two. One part giggly and giddy, one part 23 and not so grown up.
Like I said, old habits die hard. Big time.
Beyond high school and college, there are real world crushes. People that help you pass the time in the workplace or maybe neighbors you constantly meet in the elevator or on the street. There was the guy with the office that I would pass when it was completely unnecessary. And I can tell you that I still blush when my customer crush walks into the restaurant. This has been going on for 5 years because it clearly didn't leave me when I left Philly.
So do we ever grow out of this? Does the crush stop being fun/entertaining/painful? Even when we're married and happy, do we stop thinking about the ones that might have (or never would have) been? My mom always told me that when I go to my high school reunion, the good looking, popular ones will be bald and fat. I can only hope that one day those images will erase the ones from a long time ago.
Because, let's be honest, as the wise Mr. Baker said in Sixteen Candles, crushes aren't meant to be easy.
"I wonder if you'll ever think of me that way."
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