So I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

Last night, over a fro-yo date with my friend (and blogging buddy) Eric I got the idea for this blog. After being inspired by the yogurt place's brilliant napkins,



we started talking about my longtime customer crush. I mentioned to Eric how one of my employees said, "Most guys you'll meet will have a past. You just happen to know his already."

True.

100% true... But, isn't it somewhat disturbing to have seen the parade of breakfast partners over the last few years? Sunday morning meal. Saturday night clothes. See, this customer became a regular back when I was waiting tables. I got to know him and his then girlfriend as a very nice couple that never strayed from their safe meals of nova and kippered salmon. They often came in for breakfast after a bike ride and usually shared the newspaper, barely speaking and passing different sections back and forth. This was about 5 years ago. Eventually, the nice girlfriend was gone, and, in her place, seemed to be a parade of different ladies - most not nearly as nice or as nice looking as the girlfriend. Suddenly, I realized I was learning far more about him than I probably should have known.

In talking about men with a past, Eric brought up an interesting point. There should be some sort of Emotional Background Check. Forget running numbers on his credit, scanning the fingers for a ring, or determining his employment status. This is more important.



Think about the items you'd put on your Emotional Background Check.

1. Number of previous relationships.
2. Number of previous partners.
3. Longest relationship.
4. Capability of e-mailing/calling/texting.
5. Ability to remember birthdays/anniversaries/holidays.
6. Drinking/smoking/drug habits.
7. Last time tears were shed.
8. Ability to communicate with parents - his/hers or the partner's.
9. Skills of accepting others, unconditionally.
10. Chances of getting married.

Maybe your list is longer or shorter. Maybe none of these things are important. But don't you agree some things might be easier up front? Some of these things are exposed over time, and it's possible that other details never reach the surface. There's a good chance if you learn some details, it could very well be too late. You're already in, too invested to back out or to prevent heartbreak.

It's likely he'll always pay and open doors. He may even pull out chairs and help you with your coat. Don't get me wrong, chivalry is (and always will be) appreciated. But if you don't know that he's able to be something more than a gentleman in appearance, why continue a charade? Eventually, facades fade, and you're left with the person you would never have been interested in to begin with.

"Got no reason, got no shame. Got no family I can blame."